Evolving Beyond Dysfunction

Relationships, Institutions, & Societal Norms: What's Next for Humanity

Disclaimer: I’m writing this post at the risk of offending some of you who will read this. I want to be clear that no part of me is writing this to trigger anyone. I wrote this from my heart, and I trust it will land for the select few it’s meant to.

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I am going to share on today’s topic knowing very well that only a small percentage of you who read this will even have “somewhere to put” what I am going to say.

One of my life aims is to help uplift suffering on this planet- which requires me to regularly speak to and actively help dismantle various forms of dysfunction- at both an individual & systemic level.

Dysfunction is anything that creates or adds to incoherence in a system.

A system could be as small as YOU (the human) or even a part of you (cellular system).

It could also be as big as the solar system or life itself..

The vantage point I will largely be speaking from today is YOU (the individual) and US (the human species).

It’s taken me my entire life to be able to write a piece like this, simply because- quite frankly- I have dealt with so much fucking dysfunction of my own, that I never felt I was qualified to speak on an area like “relationships”.

My upbringing was very dysfunctional, my family was & is very dysfunctional, my friendships & romantic relationships were dysfunctional- virtually every area of my life was very dysfunctional.

It’s odd to share that, as someone who has mentored thousands over the last 13 years- but it’s also liberating.

I’ve gotten to work with, collaborate with, meet and build friendships with all sorts of other leaders, spiritual guides, mentors, coaches, business owners, guru’s, etc..

& one thing I’ve gotten to see first hand- is just how RAMPANT dysfunction is, for ALL of us.

Yet, we are SO SKILLED at covering it up- compartmentalizing and layering on strategies to try to cope with our various “imbalances”.. Many of us don’t even realize thats what we’re doing!

We might think “this is just who I am”, this is my “personality”..

But it’s not, my friend.

Over the last 2+ years, in working with my mentor (Triya- whom you should all follow on substack), I’ve unwound so many LIFETIMES of dysfunction- both from an “ancestral” perspective, and a “family systems” perspective.

What started out as something that was teaching me more about MYSELF, my own patterns…

Then eventually my family dynamics and how those patterns play out in ALL SORTS of areas of my life- physical health included..

- continued to expand into an awareness & eventually greater understanding of MANY family systems and relationship archetypes/dynamics.. beyond my own.

I’m not claiming to be an expert by ANY means, but I do have some valuable things to share with you- that I think you’ll see yourself in and find value in.

Just know that I am sharing from a place of “these are the types of things I’m learning and/or thinking about”- not “I’m the expert, don’t question me”.

If anything, relationships have been my BIGGEST challenge in this life.

Humans are messy, they’re complex.. they’re dysfunctional.

It was much easier to simply “optimize” my life around my specific goals and aims- and keep humanity at “arms length”... than attempt to navigate how TF to deal with a species that have the POTENTIAL for such PURE LOVE- while at the same time, are infiltrated and congruent with so much lower code, detriment, dysfunction and downwards behavior…

It’s confusing.. and it hurts.

Those who say “I love you” are also the same ones who often hurt us the most or the deepest.

People say things they think they mean or want to mean, yet aren’t actually congruent with.

We have parents and families who we didn’t consciously CHOOSE to have- which came with a whole host of unconsciously inherited expectations and ‘rules’- that often sit underneath the “I love you’s”...

We grow up, and start going throughout life- just to realize most humans on this planet are self-serving, selfishly oriented, with covert agendas.

It’s extremely painful to try to just LIVE OPENLY, as if the ways in which we normalize behavior and relation on this planet aren’t utterly heartbreaking..

Then there’s the reality that relationships just take a ton of work.

They aren’t ever going to be 50/50, they bring up a TON of your shit, they expose you to where you are most vulnerable and afraid, they open you up to heartbreak, abandonment, rejection, and all sorts of other very common fears of the heart..

& they require an IMMENSE time and effort investment..

An investment that- quite frankly- may not be worth it.

So the question is- do you risk it?

Some do.. Some don’t.

I don’t see this as a “right or wrong”- but rather a moment to deepen our empathy for other’s lived experiences.

From this perspective, you can understand the conundrum that many face- when considering seeking or investing into building REAL, deep relationships.

On the other hand, relationships are one of the only areas of human life where you can experience God through humans..

For many, it’s far easier to find GOD and LOVE in relationship (reflection from others) than in ourselves.

So many on this planet can’t stand themselves, but love their friends..

This is a highly controversial topic all around, and I will do my best to navigate it honestly.

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Structures of Human Dysfunction

At the core of what I want to talk about today, is the various forms of “structures” that humanity finds itself entangled in- that reinforce and strengthen dysfunction.

Once again, dysfunction is anything that creates or adds to incoherence in a system.

Remember that definition, as we explore what I am about to share.

Let’s start by laying out some of the systems (whether tangible or intangible) that serve as great examples of externalized “systems” that humans rely on in an attempt to cope with our dysfunction.

In other words, I see each of these as compartmentalized “bandaids” that allow humans to “attempt to get along”- and that seemingly work fairly well (on the surface)..

But when you examine them deeper- reveal so many different layers of dysfunction- that are at the very CORE of why humanity experiences SO MUCH FRICTION AND CONFUSION in navigating this realm we call “earth”.

The following is a brief list of some of that list:

• Family

• Values

• Traditions

• Legacy

• Societal Norms

• Social Contracts

• Shame/Guilt

• Belonging

• Religion

• Institutions

There are MANY more examples I could give, but I want to hone in on some of these areas and glean specific awareness from how we relate to some of these “structures”- and how this propagates further dysfunction as a human race.

It’s all fun and games to talk about “the collective awakening” or “a new earth”- but you can’t talk about the MACRO until you’re willing to get VERY granular and look at the monsters under your own bed.

Congruences are what drive our relation to any given structure- whether that be a physical structure like religion or imprisonment, or an intangible structure like “taking from life to get my needs met” or “I must uphold the patriarchy”.

I’ve spent most of my life with a very “tricky” relationship to humanity..

On the one hand, I love humans and I care about humanity.. I truly want to help. My mentor says I have a very big heart.

On the other hand, I have been deeply congruent with humanity being a BURDEN.. which has led to a whole host of unconscious strategies that I’ve employed to “keep people at arms reach” and “prevent others from taking from me”.

In the rare case that you don’t resonate with or understand why I might have viewed humanity as a burden, let’s quickly address that.

All throughout history, the story of humanity has been one of:

We deeply care and want to love, but don’t know how to and are afraid to.

So instead, we: take, extract, dominate, kill, steal, victimize, blame, turn away from, isolate, punish, imprison, manipulate, and so on.

This says more about where humanity has sourced its consciousness (information & codes that inform behavior) than about HUMANS themselves.

To be VERY clear- I am 10000% pro-human, I do not think humanity is a “lost cause” or any of that..

I think we are LOST, because we are deeply confused about who and what we are, where we came from, what this is all for, and how to best navigate this realm.

I don’t think it’s very obvious to people (at all) that there is an IMMENSE amount of intention and commitment to HEALING that one has to go through, to not be a “net negative” to the planet, species, and life itself.

As such, for most people it’s easier (and logical) to live from the mind, continue referencing the past (old ways of doing), and prioritize our own “survival”over others.

This is partly why we see similar cycles repeat themselves, all throughout human history..

Not because it’s impossible for humanity to change and do better- but because each human, at an individual level, would have to first do the REAL WORK of shifting their underlying congruences..

& let me tell you- most people aren’t gonna do that.

If you had to taste even 25% of what I’ve had to go through to unwind allllll the karma I came into this life with, and all the detrimental structures I was sourcing from.. and all the lower codes I was running in my software- most of you reading this would curl up in a ball and not get out of bed.

I share that to say- I TOTALLY FUCKING UNDERSTAND why humanity is in the predicament that it is in, during 2026, on this planet.

The human “crossroads” we are at is not about the state of politics..

It’s not about the escalation of potential world war.

It’s not about A.I. taking over humanity.

You’re mistaking SYMPTOMS for ROOT CAUSES.

Holistic medicine teaches us to look beyond symptoms and get to the ROOT of what is causing dysfunction within a system (such as the body).

The things I speak to are no different- we’re simply applying that same framework to HUMANITY and LIFE ON EARTH- which is a bit more of a zoomed out scale.

The dysfunction on this planet is not the result of ANY EXTERNAL EXAMPLE of our dysfunctions.. but rather, an indication of a much more individual “root cause”.

Each of the (supposed) 8 billion people on this earth are running ANCIENT codes in their operating systems- that were maybe necessary at one point in our evolution, but are EXTREMELY detrimental at this point in our human story.

The ideas, rituals, systems, institutions, norms and infrastructure that we have grown NOT TO QUESTION on this planet are so DENSE, and DOWNWARD in nature- that our creations have entrained us even further downwards than we already were.

Quick example to illustrate what I mean 👇

Humanity gets a novel idea for a new institution (politics)- informed by a new thought (which are informed by lower code).

Humanity creates a political system.

The very tool that humanity created, then CREATES humanity..

Meaning we influenced it & birthed it into creation- then for THOUSANDS of years- our creation informs, entrains & focuses our consciousness in a very specific way.

We stop questioning whether something is “benefitting our higher evolution” and instead accept “this is just the way things have always been.”

Unfortunately for humanity- the ways in which virtually ALL of our institutions on earth are informing us and being sourced from are DOWNWARDS..

Lower codes, lower structures- from lower realms.

Put simply: DYSFUNCTION and INCOHERENCE, at scale.

This plays a real role in why, despite having such heartbreaking potential for GENUINE LOVE, humans fail to evolve beyond their lower ways.

Once again, examples of lower ways that you can marinate on are:

Taking, extracting, dominating, killing, stealing, victimizing, blaming, turning away from, isolating, punishing, imprisoning, manipulating, and so on.

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Forms of Relationship Dysfunction

Let’s bring this conversation back to human relationships and dysfunction now..

If, at the core of each of our being, we are sourcing from:

• Detrimental structures of consciousness

• Lower codes

• Dysfunctions

• Maladaptations to our dysfunctions

• Fear of collapsing into voids

• Left sided & Right sided imbalances

• Existential fears

We cannot have any REAL conversation about TRUE RELATIONSHIP, until we have addressed the elephants in the room.

You can only meet someone where they are at- and our capacity for truth, relation, reciprocity, collaboration & love is DICTATED by the degree to which we have unwound our own dysfunction and thus- gained greater access to our TRUE NATURE.

Read that sentence again, and really make sure you innerstand it before moving on^^

I’ve gone most of my life feeling like the “black sheep”..

My family, school, institutions, adulthood, and so on- have all labeled me this.

I spent DECADES feeling like there was something wrong with me- despite always deeply caring and wanting to do right.

It never sat well with me- being viewed as if I WAS THE PROBLEM..

All the while, underneath what I could consciously express or articulate- was this deeper knowing that this “push pull” friction dynamic that I’ve felt my ENTIRE LIFE with humans… was guiding me towards my higher nature.

There is nothing WRONG with me for having these hesitations, concerns and DOUBTS about humanity..

I’ve come to learn that this was my greater intelligence informing me- before I understood what that even meant or looked like.

My system was trying to hash out how to relate to a species that has the POTENTIAL for such purity and expression of divinity- yet CANNOT CONTROL THEIR LOWER DRIVES AND DYSFUNCTIONS.

Religion tells us “we’re all flawed, so just love your neighbor as yourself and give it to Jesus”.

The prison system tells us “some people are beyond saving, so we punish and imprison them.”

The legal system tells us “the laws only apply to some people, but don’t worry- we’ll keep you safe.”

The political system tells us “certain among us are special and are meant to rule over the rest of us.”

Our family system tells us “nothing is more important than passing on the unspoken dysfunctions & expectations of this family lineage.”

Social contracts tell us “something’s wrong with you if you don’t openly participate in and accept human traditions, unspoken expectations and societal norms.”

The education system tells us “you’re unique and individual, but don’t even think about coloring outside of the lines- or learning to think for yourself.”

Even the notion of HUMAN VALUES (integrity, family, manners, etc) reveal a very human tendency to rely on VALUES as a way to provide structure, create perceived safety and belonging, and attempt to cope/deal with the immense dysfunctions sitting deeper underneath humans.. & thus, how we show up in relationships.

Most people pick a set of values (based on their LONG STANDING congruences they brought into this life), engrain them at an identity level (ie: this is who I am)- and then let those static values inform who we perceive ourselves to be.

When we ask the question of “who am I”- it gives us an easy “rulebook” to fall back on.

The average person has somewhere around 250 detrimental structures they’re sourcing from..

• “I cannot trust the heart to lead”

• “I can’t let them find me”

• “I must take from life to get my needs met”

• “Punishment as a form of correction”

• & so on..

That’s just 1 layer of “the work” btw- this doesn’t include exploring lower codes, detrimental selves, maladaptations to dysfunction, existential fears, and so on.

We bundle ALL of that up- put it in a biological “wrapper” and call it a human!

Maybe we work on our mindset, and go to therapy and church- and we call that “doing the work on ourselves”..

But in the quiet of your own heart, you know DAMN WELL that you are dysfunctional AS FUCK.. and if you really let yourself go there- it would be overwhelming..

So we don’t!

We wall it up and stuff it down, and we build complex “machinery” or pathways on top of it all- that allow us to FUNCTION in the world..

The problem is- each time we maladapt to dysfunction- we are further severing our connection to SOURCE.

We are increasing the distance between US and LOVE.

Really sit with that..

It’s heartbreaking.

& when it comes to relationships- how can we honestly claim that we have a “Relationship” with someone and can “trust” or “love” someone- when WHO that someone is, is a bundle of:

• Detrimental structures of consciousness

• Lower codes (acted out in their unconscious software)

• Fragmented Identities

• Dysfunctions

• Maladaptations to dysfunctions

• Fear of collapsing into voids

• Left sided & Right sided imbalances

• Existential fears

You may WANT to have deep relationships with people, you may even think you HAVE deep relationships with people- but understand that a significant portion of “who” you are interfacing with is that person’s PAST.

The culmination and momentum of their past congruences, lifetimes, karma, fears, dysfunctions, codes, and so on..

So for those on “the path” of unwinding all of this dysfunction and coming back into your TRUE SELF, it’s worth asking the question:

How can we truly have a relationship with other humans- who aren’t ever going to do that work?

What I keep coming back to is a deeper, more grounded understanding of WHY WE HAVE THESE SYSTEMS & INSTITUTIONS IN THE FIRST PLACE on this planet.

If you are not of the consciousness to be “Self governing” and FULLY SOVEREIGN (ie: you can and do “own your side of the equation” of life in virtually all situations, small and large).. then you are going to need guard rails.

Guard rails can be thought of as rules, forms & structures, spoken & unspoken expectations, societal pressures, culture, education, religion, and so on.

These things provide those who reside in more density- who have more dysfunction and incoherence in their systems (yet to be worked out)- a simple to follow ROADMAP through which they can relate to life through.

“Be a good son, take care of your parents.”

“Go to school, get a good job so you can take care of your family.”

“Have kids and get married.”

“Listen to authority, don’t question the rules.”

“Don’t step outside of the family/cultural norms, or we will shame and ostracize you.”

“Don’t make mistakes or we will dehumanize, punish and imprison you.”

“Dim yourself to fit into the world & don’t rock the boat”

“Don’t express your emotions or show the world you’re vulnerable.” (men)

“Your worth lies in your appearance, reproductive ability, and what you can do for a man.” (women)

“Don’t question the fragility and hypocrisy of the systems and institutions that run the world, or you’ll be shamed & gaslit.”

I could go on and on and on..

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Humanity is Sick

We live in a world where- the more you awaken to your TRUE NATURE- the more fucking LOONEY TUNES you feel.

We are expected to stuff it all down, cope with our dysfunction, and continue on the hamster wheels of chasing MONEY, SEX, STATUS, ACCEPTANCE, VALIDATION- with a smile on our face.

It’s not working though..

Humanity is VERY sick.

Our hearts hurt.

This isn’t something you can blame on chemtrails, the chemicals in our food, the EMF’s or the politicians.

This is WAY WAY deeper than that- at the ROOT of the dysfunction.

It’s asking the question:

“Where is the single, initial point of origin, of my dysfunction?”

Chemtrails, the news, the way we treat each other on social media- those are all merely SYMPTOMS of the sickness.. but you cannot cure sickness by treating the symptoms.

The pharmaceutical industry taught us that..

I’ve sat with this question a very long time, as it sits at the center of the spiritual & karmic work I’ve been doing for the last 2+ years.

The answer I can provide you is simple: congruences.

Many of them, ancient..

We bring a LOT of “stuff” into this life with us- dysfunctions, congruences, stuff we’re not done acting out, imbalances, polarities, fears, and so on..

For some of us, this is THE LIFE that our souls & higher natures say “I’ve had enough, this ends here.”

That’s what this lifetime has been for me..

Hence why it’s been so gut-wrenching and difficult!

It’s so hard not to sit in our homes, or on social media- and point fingers to THE WORLD OUT THERE.

But the truth is- the dysfunction you’re seeing out there is in YOU.

If it wasn’t, you wouldn’t feel ANY TYPE of charge or polarity to whatever may be going on out there.

That’s what it means when I say “left sided” or “right sided” imbalance- think of a battery with a positive & negative charge 🔋

If the system & ‘powers that be’ are bothering you- you have your own congruences to “fear of being controlled”, “god is going to lead me nowhere” & “slave-master + slave” type dynamics.

If you feel comfort in following religion- you have your own congruences with “martyrdom”, “slavery & indebtedness” and “sacrificing your own needs for the greater good” type savior dynamics.

If you’re more of a lone wolf and think the world is going to shit- you have a whole host of “they can’t be trusted”, “every man for themselves” and “turning away from what I need” type dynamics going on in you.

My point in laying out just a few examples is that ALL OF US have many many complex, unconscious codes & ways of relating to consciousness- that entirely dictate what we gravitate towards and are a “match” for in this human realm.

The only way to evolve out of a given dynamic for good- no matter how small or large- is to change your congruences to that dynamic.

Are 8 billion humans really ready to do that? No.

Very few are..

It’s not helpful or fair to talk about “the collective awakening” as if we’re all in somewhat similar levels of consciousness and aliveness- and can simply “ascend together.”

Every single human in this realm is on their own karmic journey- that started WAY before this life and will continue on WAY after this life.. this isn’t GROUP WORK.

& thus, we come full circle to what I started this piece talking about..

My challenges with navigating human relationships- whether that be with friends, family, everyday people, institutions, etc- while on a planet where NO ONE WANTS TO ADDRESS THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM.

I made the following meme to sum it up perfectly 😂

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A Path Forward

This piece is FAR from a “how to” teaching- this is just me sharing as real and raw as it gets.. from someone who is walking the path and has felt continually more and more INSANE in this world, the deeper I progress on my own path of self-realization.

It can be very difficult not to wall up, guard my heart, and push humanity away..

Most humans are reckless, dissociated, messy, volatile, untrustworthy, and so on- and yet- we chose to come here anyways.

Earth is the PERFECT training ground to learn TRUE LOVE.. the kind that isn’t conditional.

Most human relationships sit at the level of “shared interests and values”- and if you venture ever so slightly outside of that, you quickly find that your entire relationship kinda of falls apart.

Is that truly all relationships are?

An ability to talk about shared hobbies, social circles or career interests?

I often think about: what would relationships on a HIGHER, less dense planet look like?

Would they still involve one person’s dysfunctions trying to find calculated, safe and secure ways to “feel less alone” by talking to & spending time around another person’s dysfunctions?

I want to end this piece on a more uplifting note, so you all understand where I am truly coming from.

I love humanity.

I trust that humanity is going through it’s necessary karmic unwinding- just as I (and many of us) are..

AND it’s okay (and healthy) to name what is..

Dysfunction is this planets middle name- I know that because I’ve fucking lived it so intensely that I woke up one morning and my body just said FUCK YOU- WE AREN’T DOING THIS ANYMORE..

Which sent me on a 3+ year quest to try to find some answers.

That quest led me here..

To this very moment- writing to you about humans, earth, our species, and how we treat each other.

If there IS a point to my writing here, I suppose it’s pointing to how much of the dysfunction OUT THERE on this planet (politics, war, poverty, abuse, murder, etc) is merely a massive mirror for what we are yet to truly sort through within OURSELVES (detrimental structures, lower codes, etc).

Humanity needs a massive UPGRADE in how we source consciousness and where we source it from.

If we continue to source from, create from, and live from the same structures, codes, maladaptations and dysfunctions as we have historically in the past- we are going to get MORE OF THE SAME.

This planet is at a unique “crossroads” at this time, we have a significant minority of biological beings WAKING UP to their true nature- and we have a record level of BENEVOLENT HELP (from higher beings)- as I write these very words.

Yet at the same time, we live on a planet in which forms of slavery, trafficking, rape, murder, war, extraction, and other hideous forms of incoherence and dysfunction are NORMALIZED.

These are hallmark examples of lower codes, and what it looks like when a human being is being run by downward forces- which direct their consciousness and entrain people to do some really dark things.

At the same time, you have the ability to reach for NEW CODES, HIGHER WAYS of doing things and NEW INFORMATION- but that requires you to reach upwards.. 🪽

You cannot find the kind of help you need from books, therapists, your family, church, studying history, studying the past, listening to culture, religion, education, or ANY of the earthly institutions because they were all built from lower codes- meaning lower consciousness informed them.

If you desire HIGHER CONSCIOUSNESS to inform you- you will need to access higher information, which doesn’t exist readily on this planet.

This is where I get my information from.

This is where I serve you all from.

This is why I am unwavering in my spiritual practices & communication with benevolence throughout my day to day life.

My life has become a Sci-Fi movie.. and I am ODDLY okay with that 👽

When I look around at this planet, and the human species- knowing FULL WELL they would read these words and literally wanna lock me up in a mental asylum with “delusions of grandeur”..

I realize, more than ever, that I never came here to fit in.

I came here to learn how to be a higher being, through the immense density and contrast of this unique realm..

& I am doing JUST that..

If you are on a similar path, I’d love to encourage you to practice reaching upwards and seek to build a relationship with higher beings- not of this world.

The ripple effect that is created simply by reaching, or by acting from your heart space during this time on earth, can not be understated.

That is what this planet needs- an INSIDE OUT transformation..

Don’t worry about what is going on OUT THERE- focus on the work in the silence of your own heart.

Lastly, if you’re on a similar journey- I would LOVE to hear from you below in the comments. This journey is not for the faint of heart- and I always enjoy hearing more about each of your subjective experiences along your own path.

Sending you my love,

-J

About the Author:

Hello friend! I’m Jeremy but most people call me J-Griff. I am the heart & voice behind Higher Yield.

In the last 2 years alone, I’ve been blessed to help create 30+ conscious millionaires & multimillionaires- and help my students gain $58,657,310 in total net worth.

Higher Yield is where I open the door. The teachings and methodologies you’ll find here are normally reserved for my premium clients. Now anyone can access them.

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